Library for Fun - Jokes and Joy

Q: What is your date of birth?
 A: July fifteenth.
 Q: What year?
 A: Every year.
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 Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
 A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks
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 Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
 A: Yes.

 Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
 A: I forget.

 Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've
forgotten?
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 Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
 A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.

 Q: How long has he lived with you?
 A: Forty-five years.
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 Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that
morning?
 A: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
 Q: And why did that upset you?
 A: My name is Susan.
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 Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he
doesn't know about it until the next morning?
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 Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
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 Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
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 Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
 A: Yes.
 Q: And what were you doing at that time?
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 Q: She had three children, right?
 A: Yes.
 Q: How many were boys?
 A: None.
 Q: Were there any girls?
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 Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
 A: By death.
 Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
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 Q: Can you describe the individual?
 A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
 Q: Was this a male, or a female?
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 Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice
which I sent to your attorney?
 A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
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 Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
 A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
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 Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
 A: Oral.
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 Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
 A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
 Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
 A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
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 Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
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 Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
 A: No.
 Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
 A: No.
 Q: Did you check for breathing?
 A: No.
 Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the
autopsy?
 A: No.
 Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
 A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
 Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
 A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
somewhere.