Men Quotes
Why did God create men? Because vibrators can't mow the lawn.

All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
Henry Youngman

To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior'.
Rita Rudner

This guy says, 'I'm perfect for you, because I'm a cross between a macho and a sensitive man.'
I said, 'Oh, a gay trucker?'
Judy Tenuta

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself -- like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.
Jean Kerr

Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison.
Tim Allen

I love men, even though they're lying, cheating scumbags.
Gwyneth Paltrow 
God Quotes
It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God, but to create him.
Arthur C. Clarke

Is man one of God's blunders or is God one of man's blunders?
Friedrich Nietzsche

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
Peter OToole 

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