Stages of life - Where are you? The Male version

MALE

DRINK
Age 17 Beer
Age 25 Beer
Age 35 Vodka
Age 48 Double Vodka
Age 66 Maalox

HOUSE PET
Age 17 Roaches
Age 25 Stoned-out college roommate
Age 35 Irish Setter
Age 48 Children from first marriage
Age 66 Barbi

SEDUCTION LINE
Age 17 My parents are away for the weekend!
Age 25 My girlfriend is away for the weekend!
Age 35 My fiancee is away for the weekend.
Age 48 My wife is away for the weekend.
Age 66 My second wife is dead.


FAVORITE SPORT
Age 17 Sex
Age 25 Sex
Age 35 Sex
Age 48 Sex
Age 66 Napping

FAVORITE DRUG
Age 17 Pot
Age 25 Coke
Age 35 Really good coke
Age 48 Power
Age 66 Coke, a limousine and a company jet

DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
Age 17 "Tongue"
Age 25 "Breakfast"
Age 35 "She didn't set back my therapy."
Age 48 "I didn't have to meet her kids."
Age 66 "Got home alive."

FAVORITE FANTASY
Age 17 Getting to third base
Age 25 Airplane sex
Age 35 Menage a trois
Age 48 Taking the company public
Age 66 Swiss maid / Nazi love slave

WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Age 17 25
Age 25 35
Age 35 48
Age 48 66
Age 66 17

IDEAL DATE
Age 17 Triple Stephen King feature at the drive-in
Age 25 "Split the check before we go back to my place"
Age 35 "Just come over."
Age 48 "Just come over and cook."
Age 66 Sex in the company jet on the way to Vegas.