"I never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back."
Zsa Zsa Gabor

"Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat."
Alex Levine

"A woman drove me to drink ... and I hadn't even the courtesy to thank her."
W C Fields

"I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it."
W C Fields

"It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth."
George Burns

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