Q. What's worse than having your doctor tell you that you have VD?
A. Having your dentist confirm it.

Q. How can you tell if a man is dead?
A. He stays stiff for longer than two minutes.

Q. How do most men define marriage?
A. A very expensive way to get your laundry done for free.

Q. Have you heard about the new mail-order home surgery kit?
A. It's called "Suture Self."

Q. What tastes great on apple pie but not on pussy?
A. Crust.

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