If you get mono twice, isn't that stereo?

If you get mono twice, isn't that stereo?

What did the horse say when he fell? "Help, I've fallen and I can't giddyup!"

"Doctor, I have a memory problem!" The doctor says, "When did it start?" "When did what start?"

My frosted flakes melted in the summer.

I slept through the alarm this morning. Good thing it was only a small fire.

A cheetah clone was found slain at the city zoo. Police suspect a copycat killer.  

When I was a kid, I was so poor we would go to KFC and lick other people's fingers. (thanks to Julian Jinjur, Esq.)

I know what people are thinking as soon as I tell them that I'm psyhic.

I got a jump rope, but it's just a rope. Turns out you have to do the jumping part.

If we ever figure out how to preserve people, we'll really be in a jam.  

Doctor: "I have good news and bad news." Patient: "What's the good news?" Doctor: "You have 24 hours to live." Patient: "What's the bad news?" Doctor: "I should have called you yesterday!"