I'm a pessimistic optimist.

I'm a pessimistic optimist. I expect the worst - that way things can only get better.

I'm right 98% of the time. Who cares about the other 3%?

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

Ninety two percent of cross-eyed teachers have difficulty controlling their pupils.

I tried to build a dog house, but I only had enough dogs to build 3 walls.

How do you write zero in Roman numerals?

If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?

Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

I got tired of treasure hunting, so I sat down on a big chest on top of a giant "X". 

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